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anti-naked:

A girl was excited for her sweet 16, and she asked her boyfriend to buy her a car. He said yes. The night of the party, he didn’t come. She was very sad. Then she found out he’d died trying to drive two cars at once to her party. Like this if you love your boyfriend.

(via scrapes)

student: can i borrow a pencil
teacher: i don't know, CAN you?
student: yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious

heckacute:

I liked her. She wasn’t like other girls. She was old fashioned. She didn’t just send a nude. She hired a professional artist to a paint a nude portrait of her, framed it, and then shipped it to me. It took several months to get to here. It had to travel a treacherous voyage around the cape. Many men died bringing me this wonderful work of art. 

(via holographing)

amenpenis:

Is that fred

(via blo)